


Gentle Touches and Soft Lighting

by astrosminsung



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Only slight angst, but like, just some self-destructive thoughts, kenma doesn't understand tbh, kuroo is a good bf, not heavy angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:05:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8780665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astrosminsung/pseuds/astrosminsung
Summary: 3am - the clock readKenma’s mind was too loud.Or,Kenma is thinking too much so Kuroo talks some gentle sense into him





	

**Author's Note:**

> hello hello! I haven't posted on this blog in awhile, I'm very sorry! this short lil oneshot is 100% inspired by auriegaearts's kuroken 3am art on tumblr!! their art is absolutely beautiful so I totally recommend stalking their blog a bit to see some of it haha.. anyways here's this little thing!

_3am_ \- the clock read

 

Kenma’s mind was too loud.

 

Kenma never liked the nights that he just couldn’t get his mind to quiet down enough for him to sleep. He never liked the feeling of dizziness he got when his thoughts were too fast for him to keep up with.

At these times it always felt like everything was too loud but too quiet at the same time. Everything was too dark but somehow too bright. Everything was too much and too little and Kenma’s mind was thinking enough to make him feel sick.

These were the times when Kenma was no longer able to run away from his own mind, from his own thoughts. He was stuck, backed into a corner as everything came crashing down around him and he had nothing to distract him. He thought about waking Kuroo, who was sleeping peacefully next to him, but quickly decided against that, as he didn’t want to disturb him at such an ungodly hour. Kenma wasn’t worth Kuroo’s time.

 

Kenma turned so he was laying on his back, his arms instinctively wrapping around his own torso tightly. He could hear his thoughts becoming far too loud.

 

 _You’re so stupid you can’t even sleep right. Why does Kuroo even stay around with your dumbass anyway? You don’t deserve him. He’s an amazing volleyball player, and you’re just some quiet setter who can’t fool anyone with your ‘genius sets’ for long._ Stop. _He’s tall with a toned body and all you have is fat in places it shouldn’t be and a much shorter figure._ Please stop. _You’re worthless while he’s worth everything. He should leave your sorry excuse for a relationship and find someone who’s actually worthy of calling him their partner._ Kenma sat up, covering his ears with his hands, his fingers curling into his hair harshly. _Nobody likes you. They only pity you. No one really cares. You could disappear and no one would notice._ Kenma’s grip on his hair tightened, almost painfully so. _You should run away. Kuroo doesn’t want to wake up and see your disgusting face in the morning, does he? Or are you selfish enough to stay and ruin his entire day because your face us the first thing he’s forced to see_. A soft touch at the base of Kenma’s back quieted his mind for a moment.

 

“I can hear you over-thinking.” Kuroo whispered.

 

“I’m sorry…” Is all Kenma mumbled back. _See, he’s disgusted by you already, you selfish pig._

 

“You don’t need to apologize. Come here.” Kuroo said gently, his hand wrapping itself around one of Kenma’s wrists gently to pull him down so he was laying next to Kuroo.

 

"Don’t hurt yourself, okay?” Kuroo carefully took Kenma’s hands away from his hair, guiding Kenma so he was now lying on his stomach, his head facing Kuroo.

 

Kuroo’s hand found it’s way into Kenma’s hair, running his fingers through it gently.

 

“What’s on your mind?”

 

“Too much.”

 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Kenma was envious of how gentle Kuroo’s voice sounded.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Has your mind caught up to you tonight?” Kuroo knew Kenma well enough to know the answer.

 

“Yeah…”

 

“Do you want to count your thoughts?”

 

“No…”

 

“Do you want to describe them to me?”

 

Kenma stayed silent after this question.

 

Does Kuroo really care? Or is he just being nice? Kenma didn’t know and it was frustrating.

 

Too much silence, Kenma thought.

 

“Do you like me?” Was all Kenma managed to say.

 

“I love you.”

 

Kenma wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He knew that the ‘correct’ answer would be to say, “I love you too”. Kenma knew that answer was right, but he still never understood how Kuroo could so easily say that he loved him when Kenma had never been able to find it in him to love himself.

 

“How?” Kenma knew that Kuroo understood what he meant. Kuroo took a deep breath as he lay on his back, his hand still playing with Kenma’s hair gently.

 

“When I first saw you when we were kids, I felt this weird feeling in my chest. At the time, I had absolutely no idea what it was. It was only as I grew older, and ended up being around you more that I finally started to understand what that feeling was. At first, it honest-to-god terrified me. I had no idea if you felt the same strange feeling in your chest, or if the fire in your eyes that burned so bright when you looked at me burned for everyone else too. I didn’t know if the small touches you allowed from me was only because you weren’t comfortable enough to tell me to stop. I had no idea what to do. I still have no idea how we ended up together. I’m honestly still amazed by the fact that I am dating a beautiful, amazing guy who I know loves me just as much as I love him. I love you by small kisses. I love you by gentle touches. I love you by trusting you. I love every single inch of you. I love every tiny star in your mind. I love how your eyes still look so bright, even in this soft purple light. That’s how I love you.” That strange feeling in Kenma’s chest returned as Kuroo spoke.

 

Kenma shifted so he could wrap his arms around Kuroo’s chest, Kuroo’s face naturally burying itself into the crook of Kenma’s neck.

Kenma felt a small smile form on Kuroo’s lips, his mouth pressing gently against the skin it was already touching.

Kenma couldn’t help the smile that turned his lips upwards, much less the redness that crept up the back of his neck to his cheeks.

 

Kuroo’s fingers traced calming circles on Kenma’s back as they lay there, goosebumps following every gentle touch.

The soft lighting and quiet whispers calmed the racing thoughts in Kenma’s mind.

 

“I love you too”

 

 _4am_ – the clock read.

 

And Kenma’s mind was finally quiet.

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted this to be a bit longer, but other than that I'm fairly happy with it! I hope you all like it, and I apologize if it doesn't exactly live up to your standards :-)


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